Yes, it’s SHORTS time again. This time we got:

“Totally harmless bird flute”, which is a chirpful solo flute piece. I guess the title itself is worth a thousand words. Spring is coming.

“Turning the honey jar” is easy listening folk / pop / margarine commercial music. Pro tip, do not store honey in a refrigerator. Nor olive oil.

“Saloon tardigrades night out” reminds me of arcade video game music, early 80s I’d say. You know, Tapper, Bozo’s night out and so on…

Over.

No, it’s not a disease. It’s about the threat of iron stars.

Space sensor ribbiting. Satellite slowly turning it’s face towards the menace, making a deep, creaking sound. Small flying debris crashing, forming bigger chunks, making nearby space impenetrable.

Oh yeah, there’s no sound in space. Nor 666.

KESSLER SYNDROME is real deal though.

Oops, I meant to release WILDERNESS a month ago when it was freezing cold outside, but some other tune somehow took its place.

What we have here is a semi-musical piece, taking place up north.

I’ve never quite understood what makes some tunes new age music…

Is it the unbridled optimism? Smooth & relaxing sounds? City slicker spirituality? Does it’s composer need to wear a hippie shirt and do yoga?

Well, I only do normal stretching and my shirt is black, but some of the conditions I mentioned are certainly fulfilled in CROSSWIND THINKER.

Unfortunately, we got no “new age music”-category. Shoot!

I’ll just call it cinematic then. Closing your eyes while listening makes it true.

Let’s get onomatopoetic. We got cause of the sound, english word for it and finally its finnish counterpart.

Sneeze: Achoo – Ätsihh.
Lion: Roar – Mur.
Snoring: Zzz – Krooh pyyh.
Cow: Moo – Ammuu.
Water: Drip drop – Tip tip.
Crash: Boom – Pum.
Fart: Poot – Prööt.

Those are some of the common ones. But how do you english speakers write “buu-du”? You know, the thing baritone saxophone constantly plays in THREE MAGIC SLIPPERS?

The art of avoiding is a wonderful term from arranger Russell Garcia. The term is all the things you end up doing, when you really should be doing something else.

I’m sure many of you can relate to that.

I was just avoiding writing this post by shaving. Then it struck me: Why not write the post about this. Avoiding, not shaving.

Then I called my father to check if it was Russell Garcia who came up with the term, not George Russell. Garcia allright.

Then I felt a bit peckish and made a smoothie. Banana, blackcurrants and yogurt. Yummy.

At this point, this whole post was already clear in my head. All I had to do was to sit down and type it down.

That was some pretty good avoiding, I must say. And I made the whole post through without mentioning LULUS PETALS. Attaboy.

Tunes doesn’t get much simpler than THE OLD MAN AND THE BEARD. We got one fella playing one acoustic guitar playing some blues.

Aaand I’m out.

Today let’s take a peek of a category “it’s supposed to be ethnic, but because I’m not an expert of traditional Arabic music, I just do something and hope that it’s gonna be allright”.

A little déjà-vu here.

The spark for the tune came from a book titled “Salt: A World History ” by Mark Kurlansky. A great friggin book! Salt rocks!

From the dawn of civilization: SALT ROAD. Yeah, you know what I’m referring to… How original!

Faces. Really ugly ones.

Mechanical hypnotism. Organic pacemakers. Computers built of plant fibre.

After hitting the sack, before getting through the wall of sleep, the mist creeps in, taking MANY SHAPES OF DREAM MATTER.

Subject Alpha

Genre: Heavy duty rock metal
Era: Early 1980’s
Overall mood: Drivin’ fast straight forward
Working title: Drivin’ fast

Subject Beta

Build drumtrack. Quality cardboard box kit.
Do your best Dee Dee Ramone impression with a bass.
Add guitar with very dry Marshall amp sounds. Double ’em.
“Hmm, the texture isn’t quite as thick as I was hoping.”
Add some organ.
Smile relentlessly.

Subject 1.0

Do some soloing. Pinch those harmonics like you’ve never pinched ’em before!
Polish, finish, mix, master, etc.
Get sad when reading about Lemmy’s voyage to a different plane of existance.
Name the tune as IRON ROBIN.
Have a nice cup of tea. Lemon & ginger.