So, the other day I was doing some translating. I wrote a word in finnish in 6ugle translate – I can’t remember the word and that’s not important – in the hopes of finding a nifty song title in english. Before I could see the result, the app changed the source language from finnish to corsican! (Which I didn’t even know was a language!)

Ok – I said to the machine – you wanna play rough. Well, two can play that game… rough.

Then I set the song title to be CORSICAN.

The tune itself is some kind of piano/chill/pop type of stuff, and has absolutely nothing corsican in it. I couldn’t have, because I know nothing about that beautiful & rocky island. Well, except that the french fellow – the short one – was corsican. And oh, of course I’ve read the foreword of Asterix in Corsica, which is the reason I’m now gonna shut my big, fat mouth.

What’s going at this very moment is me resisting the urge to start up an epic fictional biography of a fella called KLAUS KILTTI. The story would’ve been something along the lines of:

Our hero would’ve been born on 6291 in Zappat, Captured city of Samhain. He would have been a humble family man, and the worst shoemaker ever walked the earth. Our guy would’ve been a true paragon of virtue, known for his impeccable self control and mental clarity. Klaus’ best friend in the whole wide world would’ve been Winston Hiszig, forgetful city clerk and amateur boxer. Although the two buddies never officially worked together…

Yeah… But no! I’m limiting myself to write stories like that to one or maybe thirteen per year. If you write predominantly bullcrappery, nobody trusts you anymore when you write something meaningful and important.

So, you fill in the rest.

Oh, yeah there’s music too!

Then we got one of those that makes you press the pause button to make sure all the noises you’re hearing are coming from the track. Other possible sources would be:

– Letterbox
– Cat being a cat
– Spirits / ghosts / other astral beings
– Phone
– Refrigerator
– Your foots involuntary tapping
– Your imagination
– Gas / bowel rumbles / other bodily sounds
– The Old Ones have finally woken

But nope, what you hear is probably just THE BREATHENING. It’s sounds!

Rock Police barks a lot and lurks in the darkest corners of a bar, drinking cheap beer. RP wears tribal shirts that’s gotten a size too small. This makes RP very angry. Therefore they hate all the music that’s been made after they turned 30. Mostly nocturnal species, Rock Police can be spotted commonly at any time of day during the summer festival season.

Jazz Police on the other hand is more rare, and they’re almost never seen outdoors. JP can easily be recognized by their threatening frown – especially on the nasal area – and their arms crossed posture. JP’s can be domesticated with great patience and conditioning with 1980’s italian disco music.

Classical Police is fortunately an endangered species. These funny little creatures can be spotted during intermission in your local opera house, foraging for strudels and cognac. CP’s are deceivingly calm beings. They seems harmless, but when their opinions are questioned, they will attack and fiercely claim that no good music has been made since 1812.

GROOVE POLICE. Well, I’m sure they exist.

“Hey man. What are you up to?”

Me:

Unifrank
Dualpict
TRIANGLE
Quadjute
Pentafris
Hexasaxo

“Nothing really. Just chilling.”

Then something more appropriate for the season. Forward-rushing, light-receiving, highly active & positive vibe giving pop with guitars: COUTURE FANTASY.

(No, the title doesn’t mean anything. It just popped in my head while finalizing the song. I received 1 bonus point for learning a new word in french)

Guitar pop, that’s a pair of words. It’s the widest description possible, and yet it summarizes pretty good what kind of music we’re talking about. You know, like:

– The Gondolas, huh? Haven’t heard ‘em. What sort of stuff…
– It’s a guitar pop band.
– Oh, ok.

Then again, both Killing Joke and Coldplay could be described as guitar pop and… well, no two bands could be further away of each other on an emotional level.

Maybe we should determine bands by their alignments instead of placing them inside superficial genres? Now, in my opinion Coldplay would be… Lawful Neutral and Killing Joke… maybe Chaotic Good?

I think I like the idea. Let me get back to you on this.

(Edit. Yes, I’m definitely not the first one to come up with the idea)

Ok so, as you may already figured it out, the person talking to you at the moment really likes horror films. Especially if they’re old and Italian.

American ones are also ok, the quality flicks you know. Like the ones made by Ari or Robert E… Shoot, I still haven’t seen the new Nosferatu… And I really should rewatch the Herzog version, cos it’s been years since I’ve seen that one… And the original one of course.

So, no “Scissiors 4” or “I Still Haven’t Figured What I Did Last Year”-remake for me. No sir!

The latest masterpiece I endured was definitely “Possession” (1981), made by a polish fellow in France and starring american dude & Isabelle Adjani. Just thinking about it makes me shiver in disgust and smile. Great movie! Jawdropper, to say the least.

Anyway, to get back to the point: CASA DEL SANGUE, starring John Saxon. It’s part soundtrack, part jazz, part black gloves & blood.

So, DIVERSION here is kinda three note-thingy, those three being the ones you hear in the beginning and throughout the whole tune. That’s about it. Therefore…

Top Ten of Top Tens (not in any particular order):

– Nicest Lovecraftian Monsters
– Tarantino Movies Without Any Swearing
– Renowed Contemporary Artists Who Doesn’t Deserve To Be Cancelled
– Stenches
– Honest Politicians Of The 20th Century
– Guns ‘n Roses Albums
– Neighbours
– Times Your Wisdom Teeth Were Removed
– Commodore 64 Games With Both Words “Impossible” And “Mission” In Its Title

Top 10 times I’ll be making & posting Top Tens.

Then some classical guitar stuff: FOR YOUR TEARS ONLY.

Ok, it’s not classical in the most classicalest sense of the word… It’s not Bach or Tárrega or even Barrega or anything.

It’s classical like “Waltz for Zizi” is.

So, it’s pickless playing of an electric-free guitar with nylon strings. Sad song to make it better.

On the surface level SNARK is very simple & fun kind of pop piece. However, there is some hidden complexity in it. I mean, it’s not “Rite of Spring” or “Echidna’s Arf” or anything, but still.

For instance, the short ascending bit you hear multiple times during the tune, and which you first hear at 0.23, actually comes in three variations. The result is poppy for sure, but also Clever & Smart. Simplicity in complexity.

Neat.

No one has ever asked me, what’s the best chord in life. But if someone would, my answer on 8,7% certainty would be: Overtone. Meaning 9b5.

You can hear the chord in question in the key of Ab at 1.59.

Very tasty.