Ok, here’s something I think much more often than I really should: Will I make it through this earthly life without a bird pooping on my head at least once?

Admit it, you’ve also thought about it.

‘Cos, you know, all the white & gross stuff out there on the pavement, it’s bird poop. Little bird poop, big bird poop, super nasty seagull poop. It’s literally everywhere. And sometimes our winged friends just roll a critical hit.

Note to self: Wear hats more often. Preferably super-size sombreros.

And hey, not to make this post to be all about poop, RUNT OCH RUNT.

Umm, HAM JAMMER… Yeah…

Those who get it, get it.

For those who don’t, well, you ain’t missing much.

Hey, I’ve got another one for you: Cleric Upton.

I’ll get me coat.

If I had to explain what’s going on in WIND SHANTY, I would probably say the following:

Listen carefully the chord you hear at 15 seconds in. That chord is really just all the open strings of the guitar, in standard tuning. This magnificent find gave the whole idea for the rest of the tune.

I think the title came to me when I was about halfway done, and it really guided me nicely during the rest of the production.

Thanks wind, you mighty messer of hairdos!

Coming up, the rest of the elements.

Yes, as the title suggests, I had template when starting to work on the piece, that became MIELIOPPIVIRNE.

(Template in this case meaning I had a specific tempo & style. Also the number of bars in all the parts – intro, A-part, B-part – were pre-set.)

However the music here is all original, and if I may say – and I may – it came out pretty neat!

I really should make use of templates such as this. Maybe put up a nifty set of instruments, save it and re-use it.

Note to self: Make templates & use ‘em, you big dummy!

Well, there’s a whole lotta breathing going on. And why not. Breathability is pop.

NEVERMORE shall be placed in the “ethnic” category, although I think “world music” would be a more suitable word to describe it.

There’s basically two parts in the tune: The first, more mystic & oriental one, and the second which to me sounds more folksy European stuff. The change is also marked with a slight increase of tempo.

So, international co-operation it is!

We sure could use some more of it.

In my notes, concerning OSAKA LIGHTSABER, says the following:

“Just tell ‘em the whole story, honestly.”

So, that’s what I’m going to do here: The tune is made in the style of 1980’s King Crimson. I really like 80’s Crimson. And 60’s Crimson. And 70’s, 90’s, 00’s…

And that’s pretty much the whole story.

I’ve had the main riff for years, so it was about the time to use it. It’s definitely a lot more simplistic than many of the KC-riffs, but I think you still get the picture. Fun, shameless fun.

Which person do you think about the most? Living or dead.

Well, yourself. Of course.

How about, after yourself, which person do you think about the most?

Family & friends, loved ones. This is just as obvious.

Let me rephrase once more: Which person do you think about the most, which is not yourself, family member or friend?

I think my answer is Santiago Cañizares, a football goalkeeper who played for Valencia and Spanish National Team in the 90’s and 00’s.

Before you start to thinking I’m a crazy person, let me give you an explanation:

Cañizares was a terrific goalie and won many club titles. In the national team however, he was unfortunate enough to have his career sandwiched between goaltending giants Zubizarreta and Casillas. In 2002 Cañizares got his big break. He was the first choice keeper for the upcoming World Cup.

Just weeks before the competition, disaster struck! Cañizares severed his tendon in a freak accident, involving broken glass from an aftershave bottle. The result: Goodbye World Cup & hello surgery.

(I read years ago that he dropped the bottle and tried to stall it with his foot, but couldn’t find any information about this)

So, ever since the early summer of 2002, everytime I grab that aftershave bottle to disinfect my face after shaving, I think of Cañizares, and act very carefully. And I do shave quite a bit, so that’s a lot of thinking of a particular retired football goalie!

It’s a pity that Cañizares never played for any team called UNITED. That would’ve been a nifty segue for todays tune.

Three amigos – Three friends
Three Days Grace – Three Dog Night
Three kingdoms – Three kingdoms
Three-toed sloth – Three-toed earless skink
Three of a kind – Three of a perfect pair
Three little pigs – THREE LITTLE POETS
Three-point field goal – Three-point lightning
Three crowns – Three lions
Three Rivers x1234

Now here’s a song title that has been sitting on my hard drive for a while: I SAW HER SPAWNING THERE. To my amazement, göögling the phrase gave no results. So, I call first on this one.

For those who absolutely despise lazy wordplay in a (supposedly) humoristic context: I’m sorry. I shall refrain myself from making such dumb remarks.

Now, concerning the tune in question, it sorta kinda asks the question: Should you go clubbing, if your ball and chain lets you, or do you get maced to the face?

Also, happy birthday L.!

Now here’s a mother of all inside jokes:

“MI-tilanne. Ei voi vetää.”

Me amused.

Explaning the whole story would take ages, so here’s the short version:

Four seconds in of BODA FANTASMA you’ll hear a chord that – when you really focus on it – sounds pretty nasty. It has tonic on the lead and major seveth chord under it, thus creating that dreaded b9 interval.

I think I got away with that. The following chord releases the tension nicely. Plus, I like messing with these kind of dangerous chords. You know, trying to make them sound more accessable.

Harmonic minor 9th-chord! There’s one I’ve been wanting to use. (That chord is used beautifully in “The Moon Struck One” by The Band)

That’s enough music nerdism. Now click the red text and enter the ghost wedding.