Concerning moshing.

13 seconds of moshing – Doesn’t even break a sweat.

3 minutes and 27 seconds of moshing – Not bad. Some sweat, minor dizziness & a couple of barely noticeable bruises. Mind the phone though.

Gigful of moshing – Several minor bruises, elbow to the cheek bone, stiff neck. Clothes covered in various unwanted substances. 10 % chance to lose car keys, 20 % chance to lose phone, 85 % chance to lose Dave. Nothing a good nights sleep won’t fix.

Lollapalooza of moshing – Achievement unlocked: The leaking tent.

Decade of moshing – Whiplash, 1d3 missing teeth and permanently hardened toenails. Gained a need to wear an embarrasing hat, use the word “man” in the end of every sentence and several bad tattoos. Tinnitus.

Full professional career of moshing – Earned the title: “Kerry King jr.”

500 YEARS OF MOSHING